Okay,
Well, as many of you know, many of my school days recently have been ever so boring. BUT, today was anything but boring. Because today, we went to Michigan's Adventure! WOO-HOO! It was great, even before we left school (the bag check was hilarious, the teachers had to check to see if my water bottle had vodka in it! LOL!). Once we got there, we all started screaming, and jumping, and dancing. K.T. and Trent and Josh and Kim and a bunch of other people rode tons of rides together. We rode Grand Rapids, and Mad Mouse, and Sea Dragon, and a bunch of other awesome rides! We also got Dippin Dots (Cookies n Cream) and tons of candy from the Peppermint Patty shop. It was SO much fun, we got soaked! After that I went out to eat with mom at this weird restaraunt called JoJo's. It was expensive, posh, and totally not worth the price. And then I called Hannah, and later I watched VH1's 100 Greatest Songs Of The Eighties (Don't Stop Believing! 867-5309! Oh Mickey, You're So Fine!). The perfect ending to a perfect day. And know, a music video for you're enjoyment because I LOVE THIS SONG!!!
Love,
Sal
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Dumb Blonde
This is for you, Kimmy:
A collection of my favorite dumb blonde jokes!
1. Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Damn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
2. Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.
She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.
Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?", queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"
3. A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
4. A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
5. Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.
6. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate"
7. She was so blonde...
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She told me to meet her at the corner of 'walk' and 'don't walk'.
She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.'
She asked for a price docket at the Dollar Store.
If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test... and failed.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
Bye!
-Sal
A collection of my favorite dumb blonde jokes!
1. Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Damn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
2. Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.
One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.
She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.
"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.
So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.
Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?", queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"
3. A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
4. A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
5. Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.
6. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice?
A: Because it said "Concentrate"
7. She was so blonde...
She got stabbed in a shoot-out.
She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
She told me to meet her at the corner of 'walk' and 'don't walk'.
She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.
She tried to drown a fish.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back.
They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.'
She asked for a price docket at the Dollar Store.
If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
She studied for a blood test... and failed.
She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center.
She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats.
She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train.
She sold the car for gas money.
Bye!
-Sal
I'm SO EXCITED!
I'm so excited!!! Why, you may ask? Because 2morrow, my class goes to Michigan's Adventures, the coolest (and only) amusement/water park in Michigan!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! I just wet my pants...again. BUT I DON'T CARE!
But today wasn't so exciting. No, it wasn't. But, the 6th graders and the 8th graders were both gone, so that makes it better. Me and KT talked about people in math, Abby and Kelseigh and I gossiped during kickball, and I had this amazing bread from Panera that everyone wanted to try. So that's my day in a nutshell. Boring, with a twist of excitement. Mmm...Ooohh! I know what I'll do! Here's a video of a hilarious fat Mexican kid (reminds me of a bean taco).
Umm
Bye!
-Sal
But today wasn't so exciting. No, it wasn't. But, the 6th graders and the 8th graders were both gone, so that makes it better. Me and KT talked about people in math, Abby and Kelseigh and I gossiped during kickball, and I had this amazing bread from Panera that everyone wanted to try. So that's my day in a nutshell. Boring, with a twist of excitement. Mmm...Ooohh! I know what I'll do! Here's a video of a hilarious fat Mexican kid (reminds me of a bean taco).
Umm
Bye!
-Sal
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Blahblahblah
Hola amigos!
Today, I honestly don't feel like blogging. But I will anyways.
SO, today was quite...odd. I woke up at 7:15 (I leave at 7:25), and ran out of the house without breakfast. Once we got to school, I forgot that our teacher is taking the 8th Graders to Mackinac Island. So instead of class, we got to watch a movie. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong. We watched the crappy movie that is called "Radio Flyer". It's about two brothers (One of them being a young Elijah Wood),who's mom marries an alcoholic, and they have to survive his physical and verbal abuse. It made me want to barf. After the dad called the younger boy a son of a b****, the movie was turned off, and we were informed that the school does not tolerate movies with that sort of language. Friggin stupid. Later, we had a pizza party and watched "To Kill A Mockingbird". Whoop dee doo.
I'm not even going to finish this story, because it's so booooooooorrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg.
So here's a video of some Asian boys singing the Backstreet Boys. Enjoy.
-Salamander
Today, I honestly don't feel like blogging. But I will anyways.
SO, today was quite...odd. I woke up at 7:15 (I leave at 7:25), and ran out of the house without breakfast. Once we got to school, I forgot that our teacher is taking the 8th Graders to Mackinac Island. So instead of class, we got to watch a movie. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong. We watched the crappy movie that is called "Radio Flyer". It's about two brothers (One of them being a young Elijah Wood),who's mom marries an alcoholic, and they have to survive his physical and verbal abuse. It made me want to barf. After the dad called the younger boy a son of a b****, the movie was turned off, and we were informed that the school does not tolerate movies with that sort of language. Friggin stupid. Later, we had a pizza party and watched "To Kill A Mockingbird". Whoop dee doo.
I'm not even going to finish this story, because it's so booooooooorrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg.
So here's a video of some Asian boys singing the Backstreet Boys. Enjoy.
-Salamander
Monday, May 26, 2008
Blog?!
OK, this is my blog. Maybe.
So today's discussion will be about...um... I don't know. But have you guys heard the new song be Katy Perry? It's called "I Kissed A Girl" and it's the coolest lesbian song I've heard in my life (sorry, Britney Spears!). If I can figure out how to work this blog, I'll post the song for human consumption. But it's amazing, and one of my friends introduced me to it. The lyrics are so crazy;
"I kissed a girl, and I liked it! The taste of her cherry chap stick..."
Tasty.
Download it (legally) when you get a chance.
Also today, I marched in my school band. We all got Mountain Dew afterwards, and it was stellar. Um...Oh yeah! There was this really weird girl that I always would make fun of, and she moved away, but today we saw her! K.T. called her a constipated pig once, LOL. Actually, you have to meet this freak show to understand why it's so funny.
Alright, I think that wraps up my day in a nutshell. Oh yeah, I also had to attend this super patriotic thing today (there's this new thing they call 'memorial day'?).
Bye!
-Sal-a-mander, who really needs caffeine right now.
So today's discussion will be about...um... I don't know. But have you guys heard the new song be Katy Perry? It's called "I Kissed A Girl" and it's the coolest lesbian song I've heard in my life (sorry, Britney Spears!). If I can figure out how to work this blog, I'll post the song for human consumption. But it's amazing, and one of my friends introduced me to it. The lyrics are so crazy;
"I kissed a girl, and I liked it! The taste of her cherry chap stick..."
Tasty.
Download it (legally) when you get a chance.
Also today, I marched in my school band. We all got Mountain Dew afterwards, and it was stellar. Um...Oh yeah! There was this really weird girl that I always would make fun of, and she moved away, but today we saw her! K.T. called her a constipated pig once, LOL. Actually, you have to meet this freak show to understand why it's so funny.
Alright, I think that wraps up my day in a nutshell. Oh yeah, I also had to attend this super patriotic thing today (there's this new thing they call 'memorial day'?).
Bye!
-Sal-a-mander, who really needs caffeine right now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
